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The moments that stay with us may seem small to others, but these are the ones that really matter.

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Town of I am Hopeful

I am so energized by this experience and all that I’m learning about myself. I’m learning about my thoughts and my choices, and I appreciate just how powerful and confident I am becoming. I see so much variety in management styles and I’m learning to appreciate the benefits of all of them.

I have grown a lot through this experience, I now know that I can choose my thoughts regardless of what my manager does. I am comfortable letting people do what they want to do and be who they want to be, while I focus on who I want to be and what I want to think. I’m so excited that I’m no longer bothered by this.

I’m so happy with my progress, I’ve come a long way in how I think about the level of direction I want.

Back: Town of I am Letting this go

Next: Town of I am Joyful

Town of I am Letting this go

I am so energized by this experience and all that I’m learning about myself. I’m learning about my thoughts and my choices, and I appreciate just how powerful and confident I am becoming. I see so much variety in management styles and I’m learning to appreciate the benefits of all of them.

I have grown a lot through this experience, I now know that I can choose my thoughts regardless of what my manager does. I am comfortable letting people do what they want to do and be who they want to be, while I focus on who I want to be and what I want to think. I’m so excited that I’m no longer bothered by this.

I’m so happy with my progress, I’ve come a long way in how I think about the level of direction I want.

Back: Town of I am Frustrated

Next: Town of I am Hopeful

Town of I am Joyful

I am so energized by this experience and all that I’m learning about myself. I’m learning about my thoughts and my choices, and I appreciate just how powerful and confident I am becoming. I see so much variety in management styles and I’m learning to appreciate the benefits of all of them.

I have grown a lot through this experience, I now know that I can choose my thoughts regardless of what my manager does. I am comfortable letting people do what they want to do and be who they want to be, while I focus on who I want to be and what I want to think. I’m so excited that I’m no longer bothered by this.

I’m so happy with my progress, I’ve come a long way in how I think about the level of direction I want.

Back: Town of I am Hopeful
Town of I am Frustrated

I am so energized by this experience and all that I’m learning about myself. I’m learning about my thoughts and my choices, and I appreciate just how powerful and confident I am becoming. I see so much variety in management styles and I’m learning to appreciate the benefits of all of them.

I have grown a lot through this experience, I now know that I can choose my thoughts regardless of what my manager does. I am comfortable letting people do what they want to do and be who they want to be, while I focus on who I want to be and what I want to think. I’m so excited that I’m no longer bothered by this.

I’m so happy with my progress, I’ve come a long way in how I think about the level of direction I want.

Back: Town of I am Exhausted

Next: Town of I am Letting this go

Town of I am Exhausted

I am so energized by this experience and all that I’m learning about myself. I’m learning about my thoughts and my choices, and I appreciate just how powerful and confident I am becoming. I see so much variety in management styles and I’m learning to appreciate the benefits of all of them.

I have grown a lot through this experience, I now know that I can choose my thoughts regardless of what my manager does. I am comfortable letting people do what they want to do and be who they want to be, while I focus on who I want to be and what I want to think. I’m so excited that I’m no longer bothered by this.

I’m so happy with my progress, I’ve come a long way in how I think about the level of direction I want.

Next: Town of I am Frustrated

I'm learning about me and my thoughts

I am so energized by this experience and all that I’m learning about myself. I’m learning about my thoughts and my choices, and I appreciate just how powerful and confident I am becoming. I see so much variety in management styles and I’m learning to appreciate the benefits of all of them.

I have grown a lot through this experience, I now know that I can choose my thoughts regardless of what my manager does. I am comfortable letting people do what they want to do and be who they want to be, while I focus on who I want to be and what I want to think. I’m so excited that I’m no longer bothered by this.

I’m so happy with my progress, I’ve come a long way in how I think about the level of direction I want.

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With focus, I decide how I look at this

I know I don’t need my manager to change for me to think differently. No one has to change for me to change my outlook. I don’t need to control people and force my manager to provide more direction for me to be happy.

With deliberate focus, I decide how I want to look at this, it all depends on what I choose, the choice is mine and mine alone. I choose what I want to think and I have the power within me to change my thoughts – this is absolutely liberating. I can choose my thoughts in any situation, me, and me alone. No one has any power over me because I am powerful.

I’m passionate about my work and the contributions I make. I know I bring value with each decision I make. I’m so energized about what I will do next. I have a new sense of happiness about my manager’s leadership style. There are so many great things coming my way, I just know it. There is so much I want to do next. I have this new excitement bubbling up, it’s a wonderful sensation.

I’m myself again, the best of me, full of life, with the confidence to do anything I set my mind to. I love being joyful with whatever level of guidance I receive. I know everything will be just fine. Life is good. I love my life. I love me. This is where my happiness is, where my freedom is, where my power is. This is me – this is who I am.

I am happy. I am free. I am powerful.

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I'm glad I got angry about this

I am glad I got angry about my manager’s inability to provide direction because this strong reaction shows me that I do want to do my work well, and I want to be proud of it. I’m realizing I don’t need specific guidance for me to do a great job. I am thankful for this experience.

I like how I feel when I choose work that excites me and is of interest to me. After all, if my manager were to choose different projects, I might not like that. The more I think about this, the more I enjoy choosing the work I get to do, and the direction to pursue. Now, I have the attitude that I like deciding what’s next, I’m ready to learn new skills. I appreciate my manager’s approach in letting me choose and strengthening my leadership abilities.

Many good things have started to come from this. I love the clarity I’ve received. It’s going to be fun to continue to prioritize my work and collaborate with those around me who are also excited about the work we do. I’m going to have more fun with the people I work with. I’m getting many good ideas and I’m ready to get started on them right away.

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I am changing how I think about this

I am changing how I think about the level of direction my manager provides and how much direction I need. I am choosing, in this now moment, what to focus on. I am choosing a new thought. I am taking back my power.

I am so good at this! I love how I just did this and I know I can absolutely do it again, anytime I need to, as often as I want. This is so much fun.

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The more I practice the easier this is

If I start to get uneasy again I know what to do, I have done this before and I can do it again. The more I practice the easier this will become. I am finding ways to change my thoughts. I am shifting my outlook on my manager’s approach to a positive one.

I enjoy being able to shift my perspective. With a little focus on the good things in my life, I’m noticing that I’m doing better. I’m noticing that I’m having more good days – I like that. I like practicing how to change my thoughts. I found a way to focus on encouraging, uplifting thoughts. I am choosing what thoughts I prefer.

I like discovering that I can set my own priorities. I am relaxed and at ease about my ability to choose a direction on my own. I’m proud of my ability to figure this out. I know something great is coming my way. I really like this new perspective. My life is working out really well.

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Maybe my manager is doing their best

Maybe my manager is doing the best they can. Maybe my manager is expecting me to decide which direction to take and choose projects and work that I think is best. This approach could be very interesting. Maybe the lack of direction is simply an effort to help me realize I can do this on my own, I have the skills and will develop even more. There are so many possibilities. It’s possible the projects I choose will be interesting and fun to do. I can’t see it now but something new and interesting could surprise me.

I believe I can choose what work to do without needing my manager to tell me. I believe I can do a great job with the work I’ve chosen to prioritize. I believe it’s going to be fun to do the work I’ve chosen for myself. I look forward to the day where I can see how this approach is helping me grow, and how it could lead to a bigger role with more responsibility if I want it.

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Blaming my manager isn't helping me

I realize now that blaming my manager doesn’t help me. I don’t think my manager is purposefully withholding information to frustrate me, this is just their management style and probably don’t realize that I don’t like this approach.

I know I can get back to the thoughts I prefer by focusing on the many aspects of my life that are going well. My life is good in so many ways. I enjoy doing the activities on my things-i-like-to-do list. And, I can also focus on me and what I’m doing now to embrace encouraging thoughts about my manager not providing more direction.

It’s alright that my manager uses a style I don’t like because I believe something better is on its way. Every time I don’t get the direction I want, I explore how I want to be managed with the level and type of direction I’d like.

When I reflect on my manager’s skills and experience, I notice that my manager has a lot of experience, with an interesting career path. My manager is very knowledgeable about the industry and the company and is respected by many. This experience has helped me focus on the characteristics I like about my manager. I like that I’m finding many uplifting thoughts about my manager.

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I hope this approach will help me

I hope that soon I will think differently about the minimal direction I receive. I hope I will be able to embrace my manager’s approach as a good thing. I hope this approach will help me in my work. I hope that my manager will express appreciation for my work, for all I’m able to do even though I’d like more direction from them.

Sometimes, when I think about not getting enough direction, I get distracted from what I really want.

I want a good place to work since a large portion of my day is spent here. I want a manager who values my contributions, listens to my suggestions, and respects my opinions. I want a manager who believes in my abilities, trusts me to do a great job, and gives me the freedom to do the work I choose. I want to do meaningful work. I want to collaborate with my coworkers. I want to continue to accomplish great things for the company and its customers.

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I'm going to focus on me

Now I’m going to focus on me and the other aspects of my life that energize and invigorate me. There are so many other things I could think about that make me happy. Sure, receiving direction is important for getting work done but I get my work done to the best of my abilities and I’m proud of what I do all on my own.

In the meantime, I will focus on other areas of my life. I can certainly think about the many aspects of my life I enjoy: I have great friends I enjoy spending time with, I have a supportive family, I have hobbies I enjoy doing. I have so many other areas in my life that are going well. I do like my life and I am proud of the work I do. I am going to accept that this is the way it is for now and trust that when the time is right I will get the level of direction I’d like to receive.

I’m really proud of myself for deciding to focus on me, all the good things in my life, and letting everything else go. There are days when I get my work done without direction, I want more of these days. I realize now that I don’t need my manager to give me specific directions for me to be proud of my work. No matter how they manage me, I can choose who I want to be and what thoughts I prefer. I like these new and uplifting thoughts. My life is working out pretty well.

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I am letting this go

I am letting this go. Oh, what a relief it is to let it all go. These words are helping me release tension, I need to be kind to myself. I am doing the best that I can and that’s all I can do. Right now, in this moment, I feel really good about the decision I just made to let this go and let whatever happens happen.

I am doing my best. I do the work I’m asked to the best of my abilities. I can’t force my manager to give me direction. They must have their own reasons for managing this way. They are who they are, with their own perspective on how much direction to give. I need to accept that they can have an approach I don’t agree with.

We are all different, each with our viewpoints on how to give direction. After all, I wouldn’t want them to change me and my opinions about the importance of sharing the company’s direction, strategy, and vision.

All I can do in this moment is change what thoughts I prefer about this situation. How they manage me does not impact what I choose to think about now, and that’s good enough for me.

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I wish I could stop blaming myself

Thinking about this isn’t making me feel any better. I need to find a way to stop blaming myself, thinking that I’m not asking in a specific way and that it’s somehow my fault I’m not getting direction. After all, it’s a fact that I’m not given any direction and there isn’t much I can do about it right this instant. So, for now, I’m going to accept that my manager doesn’t give me direction, it’s just how my life is.

I’m probably not the only one being treated this way. I think most people give up trying to get more direction and settle for whatever information they receive. Maybe I should give up and be like everyone else, complacent, indifferent, and even uninterested. I’m going to stop caring and do the best that I can with the information I have. I don’t care if my manager will ever provide more.

I just don’t care anymore, I’m done with this. Whatever happens next will just happen, and I will be ok with it. I give up.

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I'm tired of thinking about this

I am so tired of thinking about this, wishing my manager could give me more direction. I’m tired of talking to coworkers and complaining to friends about it. I’m tired of all of this. Maybe my manager was trained this way, maybe my manager wasn’t trained at all, maybe my manager isn’t being given any direction.

Maybe, maybe, maybe, so many maybes. I’m overanalyzing this, spinning in circles, all this speculation is getting me nowhere. I can’t begin to understand why my manager doesn’t give any direction, even if I did know I can’t do anything about it. It’s not my job to fix my manager.

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I wish I could find the right way to ask

I’m upset that my manager doesn’t seem to want to share information. My manager just expects me to figure things out on my own and do their job for them. I wish I could think of the right words to use to ask for some direction but I can’t figure this out. I’ve asked for direction so many times and I don’t think anything new will help.

I don’t want to wait anymore, I’ve been waiting long enough. The deadline is approaching and I don’t have much time left to get my work done. Is getting more direction too much to ask for? Then, when I think of all the work I need to do I freeze up, I can’t seem to pick even one thing to do. Why can’t I pick one thing to do? Why can’t I figure out what to do next? It shouldn’t be this hard to get work done.

I wish I could figure out what to do without needing more direction. I’m annoyed that I care so much about this. I’m even annoyed that I’m trying to show how much great work I could do if only I was given more direction.

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I'm worried things will never change

My manager has been this way for the entire time I have been working here and I’m worried my manager will never change. My manager can’t see my point of view at all, I don’t think they even try to understand how important this is to me. It’s not easy to work like this. Will it ever get better? I’m worried I won’t accomplish my objectives, get a raise, or receive a good performance review without any direction.

I don’t think things will ever change. I don’t think I’ll ever find a way to get my manager to start giving me the direction I want. The more my manager withholds information, the more I think I can’t do a good job in my job. I just don’t think I can change this anytime soon.

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What rationale does my manager have?

I just don’t understand why my manager doesn’t provide any direction. I can’t imagine what possible rationale they have for not helping me, for not sharing anything on the vision or strategy. A manager should provide direction so we can all do our best work, but this just isn’t my manager’s style.

I just don’t understand why this company isn’t addressing this. If only they would only ask employees for feedback and do something about it then this wouldn’t be happening to me.

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I'm not sure what else I could do

I’m not sure what else I could do. I do my job well, I get my work done, and even do more than I’m asked. If only my manager would just give me some direction then I could do so much more. I’ve asked my manager in many different ways for insights, direction, information, and nothing has worked. Nothing will ever change.

I have put a lot into this job and I don’t know how to make my manager understand how important this is to me.

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I'm angry with the leadership team

I’m angry with the leadership team for letting this happen and for not doing anything to improve the skills of all the managers. Companies should have processes in place to prevent this from happening. Management should really stop promoting these types of leaders. My manager clearly lacks the ability to lead a team and doesn’t know how to share information to help us do our jobs.

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I hate my manager

I hate my manager for being so secretive. I hate my manager for not sharing what’s next on strategy or vision. How can we reach the goal if no one knows about it?  I’m qualified to do my job but I’m not able to do it well because my manager isn’t giving me direction. I hate them for holding me back.

Why can’t my manager share information like the other managers share? How can I get my job done without any direction? How did my manager even get this job? If only the leadership team could see that my manager isn’t the right person for the job and reprimand them or fire them.

If I had that job I would never keep employees in the dark. I would share all I could. I would engage the employees so they could be part of the process, part of the future, part of the team; and they’d be able to do their jobs really well with all the information at their disposal.

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I hate my coworkers

I hate my coworkers for judging me and making me feel bad about this. I hate how they don’t realize that all their successes are because of how great their manager is.

If we could trade places then they’d see how hard this is, it sure would make them understand what I’m going through. If we could all have the same, equally skilled managers, to level out the playing field, then no one would get any extra advantage at work. Then we’d really see who’s talented. I could be doing so much more if only I was given direction.

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My coworkers imply I'm exaggerating

None of my friends and coworkers have this problem, they imply that I’m making a big deal of this. I’d like to see all of them in my place, then they wouldn’t think I was exaggerating, and they’d experience first-hand how stressful this is. They certainly wouldn’t be enjoying their jobs and thriving like they are. I’d be thriving too if I had their manager.

Their jobs are so easy with a manager who shares information with them. A manager is supposed to provide guidance and direction, inspire the team, and share the company’s vision; and this just isn’t the case for me at all. I resent my coworkers for having such an easy time at work.

This isn’t fair, this isn’t how it should be for me.

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I can't work under these conditions

I can’t work under these conditions, not knowing which direction to take, which project to start, or how to prioritize my workload. All my efforts to get more direction are pointless. I’m so defeated.

Then when I ask, I get told I’m needy, always needing more explanations, more information, more guidance. Could my manager be right? If only they would help me then I would stop asking.

But who am I? In their eyes, I’m just an employee and my needs don’t matter. Now I’m starting to wonder if they’re right.

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I'm exhausted and drained

Why doesn’t my manager provide me with any direction? No matter how many times I ask I can’t seem to get a clear direction on what I should do next. I don’t see a way out of this situation, it’s hopeless. Nothing I say seems to make a difference.

I’m exhausted and drained from all my attempts to get some direction. I don’t have any more energy left in me. I spend all weekend trying to relax, I recharge just enough to get through another week.

I have to force myself to get out of bed each morning and drag myself there. Then, once I’m there, I don’t want to do my work. I can’t find any motivation to do my work. I don’t know what to work on. I’m demoralized by it all.

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Table of Contents

Preface


Part 1: First Steps on Your Journey

Life just happens

The road to empowerment

Where am I now?

How do I shift to a new thought?

Let’s begin the journey

Keeping my powerless or angry thoughts to myself, as often as I can

ALL emotions are good emotions


Part 2: Situations at Work

1: Manager does not give me direction

2: Manager is gaslighting (bullying) me

3: Manager micromanages me

4: I am overworked

5: I am underpaid

6: I was passed over for the promotion

7: Coworker took credit for my idea

8: Receiving feedback

9: Attending meetings

10: I was laid off / fired

This book isn’t helping me think differently


Part 3: Exploring Something New

My Things-I-like-to-do List

Imagining the Journey

But I Don’t Want This

Recharging your Brain


Part 4: The Science

Neuroplasticity

… in breathwork or meditation

… in nature walks

… in interactions with others

… in venting or complaining

… in doing activities you like

… in imagination

… in the budget-meeting

Brainwaves

… when going about our day: Beta waves

… when in deep sleep: Delta waves

… when practicing meditation: Alpha waves

… when relaxing: Theta waves

… when in a state of flow: Gamma waves


I Appreciate

Notes

About the Author

Preface

Work can be a minefield of challenging situations. There’s the morning you walk in confident, only to be blindsided by a coworker’s spiteful remark, a vague and unrealistic task, a manager’s critical words, a dismissive comment in the meeting, or lack of recognition for your contributions. We’ve all had those moments, the ones that linger long after the day ends, eating away at us until the whole workday feels heavier than it should, slowly eroding our confidence. You can’t stop replaying that moment wondering why it affects you so much. You confide in someone only to receive advice that’s not at all supportive; in fact, it’s even more infuriating. You are not alone.

Every day, countless people wrestle with workplace frustrations, trapped in cycles of rethinking, internalizing others’ comments and action, wondering ‘why me’. When we inadvertently give away our power we start to believe that our happiness depends on someone else’s actions. But what if it didn’t have to be that way? What if you could take back control? What if you had a map to guide you, to support you, to uplift and empower you, no matter the challenges?

This book offers just that – a map to navigate your thoughts and reclaim your inner power. By introducing a unique metaphor of towns, these imaginary places will help you visualize your journey through thoughts like anger, frustration, and resentment. These towns are interconnected by streets, each named after the thoughts we think. This metaphorical map isn’t just a framework; it’s a practical tool to navigate the complexities of our thoughts and move toward a more empowered thought and state of being.

The goal isn’t to avoid or deny the difficult situations we face but to understand and embrace them as part of our journey. Every thought, whether anger, frustration, or resentment, has a purpose. By recognizing what town you’re in and exploring how to move forward, you gain the ability to shift your perspective and create the experience you desire, the powerful experience you deserve.

This isn’t about ignoring reality; it’s about choosing how you navigate it, intentionally choosing your path. Because the truth is, the power to shape our experiences lies within us – waiting to be reclaimed. This journey is about reclaiming your power. It’s about moving from feeling stuck in the Town of I am Powerless to the empowering streets of the Town of I am Powerful. It’s a process of learning to recognize the thoughts that don’t serve you and replacing them with ones that do. Each step forward is a chance to reshape your experience, not by changing your circumstances but by changing how you respond to them.

Part 2 [Situations at Work] is your guide, your roadmap through each town. There are 10 workplace situations mapped out for you, from lack of clarity in your job, being overworked and underpaid, receiving unwarranted criticism, to being passed over for the promotion. You will find that the journey through each town is deeply personal and entirely customizable, not forcing a destination but instead giving you choices along the way. Every page is an invitation to take back the power that’s always been yours. It’s a reminder that no matter where you are, you have the power to move toward the thoughts and experience you desire.

Part 3 [Exploring Something New] provides practical tools and exercises to help you make small, meaningful shifts to reclaiming your power. These self-care tools strengthen your ability to respond to situations with intention rather than reacting out of habit, bridging the gap between understanding your thoughts and transforming them. By harnessing the power of your imagination and embracing mindfulness practices, you will accelerate your journey through the various towns and effortlessly reach for the thoughts you prefer. These processes are not only transformative; they’re empowering.

In Part 4 [The Science], I explore insights from the science of the brain: neuroscience and brainwaves research. I offer simple explanations for how the journey through the towns and the self-care practices help the brain adapt and grow. Our brains are remarkably powerful with limitless potential. The secret no one tells you is that our brains can be retrained to respond and react differently without needing to change the circumstance. We can learn to harness the power of our brains to work for us, not against us; to not only to prevent mental exhaustion but to set ourselves up to triumph. You don’t need to know how the brain works to take back your power, the roadmap and the exercises will do that for you. Part 4 is optional, but enlightening, reading.

Above all, this book is a celebration of your capacity to grow, thrive, and triumph. It’s about giving yourself the grace to take small steps, to stumble, and to try again. It’s about recognizing that the path to empowerment is not a straight line but a winding road filled with opportunities to explore, learn, and evolve.

So, as you turn the page, take a deep breath.

Know that wherever you are starting from is exactly the right place to be. You are not alone in this journey, and with each thought you choose, you are taking a step closer to the powerful person you are meant to be.

Let’s begin this journey together,

because taking back your power starts now –

one thought at a time.

What are the Corporate Commandments?
It’s those pieces of advice that float around the corporate world:
  • manage up
  • dress for the job you want not the one you have
  • tailor your communication to the audience,
  • over deliver on objectives
  • exceed targets
  • proactively promote yourself to others
  • find a mentor
  • get a sponsor
  • just to name a few.
The Brain that Changes Itself
Stories of personal triumph from the frontiers of brain science
An astonishing new science called “neuroplasticity” is overthrowing the centuries-old notion that the human brain is immutable. Provides an introduction to both the brilliant scientists championing neuroplasticity and the people whose lives they’ve transformed. From stroke patients learning to speak again to the remarkable case of a woman born with half a brain that rewired itself to work as a whole.

About Author

Book

How Emotions are Made
The secret life of the brain

Reveals how the brain constructs emotions in a way that could revolutionize psychology, health care, the legal system, and our understanding of the human mind. Barrett’s research overturns the long-standing belief that emotions are automatic, universal, and hardwired in different brain regions. Instead, she shows, we construct each instance of emotion through a unique interplay of brain, body, and culture.

About Author

Ted Talk

Book

Positive Intelligence
Why only 20% of teams and individuals achieve their true potential and how you can achieve yours
Reveals how to achieve one’s true potential for both professional success and personal fulfillment. Chamine’s groundbreaking research exposes ten well-disguised mental Saboteurs. With Positive Intelligence, you can learn the secret to defeating these internal foes. Positive Intelligence (PQ) measures the percentage of time your mind is serving you as opposed to sabotaging you.

About Author

Tedx Talk

Book

Five Brain Leadership
How neuroscience can help you master your instincts and build better teams
Walks you through the understanding of all five of our interlocking brains—our reptilian, emotional, rational, and, yes, even our heart and gut “brains”. Learn how to build your capacity in each of these control centers, and recognize all the ways they are at play in how humans operate, interrelate, and react to change. Better understand your multilayered, magical mind, and how to work with it instead of against it in leading your team and building relationships.

About Author

Tedx Talk

Book

soundtracks
The surprising solution to overthinking
Offers a proven plan to change overthinking from a super problem into a superpower. When we don’t control our thoughts, our thoughts control us. If our days are full of broken soundtracks, thoughts are our worst enemy, holding us back from the things we really want. But the solution to overthinking isn’t to stop thinking. The solution is running our brains with better soundtracks. Once we learn how to choose our soundtracks, thoughts become our best friend, propelling us toward our goals.

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Joyful
The surprising power of ordinary things to create extraordinary happiness
Explores how the seemingly mundane spaces and objects we interact with every day have surprising and powerful effects on our mood. Drawing on insights from neuroscience and psychology, she explains why one setting makes us feel anxious or competitive, while another fosters acceptance and delight—and, most importantly, she reveals how we can harness the power of our surroundings to live fuller, healthier, and truly joyful lives.

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